a picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

This isn't a year ago. I don't have an organized collection of pictures, so instead of figuring out a specific picture, I just picked an old one. So this is me in '05.

And this is me in the last couple months. My eyes aren't always that evil, and I don't always have an unquenchable thirst for Gatorade, but other than that, this is normal me.

Since last year, I've had some growing up experiences. Even though you make a decision once, when the question arises again, you have to decide whether you will go one way or the other. And over the last year, I've made some of those decisions yet again. I came to the conclusion that it's good to know and be known by the people I get to do life with. I've learned that despite my wandering and tendency to make mistakes, I'm always only one step away from communion with God. And although I will continue to stumble, I've decided that I will be the kind of person who strives for more.

I've also come to a better understanding of how blessed I am. I see how I fit into my family better, and how they fill in the gaps of who I am. I've decided the next step for my life is to go back to school. I've also learned that, sometimes, instead of waiting for an opportunity, you make one. It's been a good year.

why are you doing this 30 day challenge?

I major reason, which I mentioned as an introduction to the thirty days, was my issue with sleeping. Over the last month and a half, I've been on a different sleep schedule than previously. I'm slowly getting back to an earlier bedtime, but I still am not able to fall asleep easily. So spending a few minutes each night is not a sacrifice, it is a way to concentrate on something besides sleeplessness.

Another reason is that I enjoy writing. I like having an outlet for what's going on in my mind, and although these thirty topics haven't been the best for that release, the practice of writing on a regular basis has helped me clear my mind for more important things. And if there's ever been a time to have a clear mind, now isn't a bad choice.

And of course, as the answer to most "why" questions, why not?

what you think about your friends

There's so much to say about my friends. It's weird to think back on all the stages of my social life. There's been some amazing people that I've had the honor of sharing life with, and I know I'm very blessed. To say that, as a whole, my friends possess any certain attributes would definitely be misleading. There are people that are nothing alike, but that diversity really helps me understand how important each person is to me. So thank you to each one of you.

more to say when you can't sleep

Only until later on tonight did I arrive at the point where today seemed a little productive. Most of the day I sat in front of my computer screen trying to organize thoughts and material on Church History, and yet for most of the day, I had nothing to show for it. But because it was Wednesday, I got to sit in on a class, and tonight's topic was the Theology of God. So I listened to ideas that I had heard before about what we know about God and what we know, but can't explain, about God. It was a valuable time for me to reflect on the evolution of my knowledge of, and faith in, God.

How has he maintained while I've done nothing but wander and change?

His faithfulness is constant and pure.

His patience with me is undeniable.

And as I get back into Church History during the wee hours of this morning, I see God's faithfulness and patience exhibited on a global and eternal scale. It's very reassuring to understand this, even though I can't fully understand it.

what i would find in your bag

I'm just going to take this opportunity to clean out my bag, and I'll just list off what I take out.

• Nalgene clipped to the loop on the outside
• Ipod
• favorite hat
• cheap flashlight I got at W/E
• Works of Love by Soren Kierkegaard
• Quicknotes Christian History Guidebook
• Handbook of Denominations in the U.S. by Frank S. Mead
• Study Bible
• a few pens and pencils in the middle pocket
• a bandana and gum rapper in the right pocket
• nothing in the left pocket

a letter to your parents

Dear Mom and Dad,
I know we all have a few regrets. There are things about my life that I wish were a little different. I know now that every parent messes their kid up a little bit, but that makes us who we are. And I think you did pretty good.
So thanks for everything. Thanks for staying together. Thanks for helping me get to the point that I'm at. Thanks for supporting my dreams and encouraging me to push for a better life. Thanks for bringing me up the way you did. Thanks for disciplining me the way you did. Thanks for teaching me so much. Thanks for showing me what is really important in life.
Love you both,
Your Favorite Son

something you crave for a lot

One more for tonight...

I tend to crave steak and chicken, sushi, any kind of pastry with fruit, and, since I try to limit my soda intake, I have the occasional caffeine craving. Also, my wonderful mother makes amazing fried rice that I could eat every day. One more... I can't/don't get enough homemade mashed potatoes. I can't wait for Thanksgiving.

I need a snack.

what makes you different from everyone else

Missed a few days... but here we go.

I possess characteristics that, individually are not unusual, but the combination of the entire set is unlike any other. But that's what makes everyone different from everyone else. However, according to Wikipedia, my Myers-Briggs personality (INFJ) is the lowest percentage of the population, so I guess that makes me a little bit unique.

I do have an interesting combination of the youngest child behavior and the middle child behavior. I'm especially patient, which somehow lends itself to occasional awkwardness. My sense of humor is definitely a little off, and it is magnified by having my brothers around. I'm a fast learner, at least most of the time. I think I possess a weird combination of steadiness and emotional-ness, but maybe that's more common than I'm aware of. And despite the fact that I'm out of school, I wish I could still have homework, which even I think is pretty stupid.